This article is a chapter from my new book “There Is A Light That Shines”, available now.
One of the tragedies of being human is that we grow up hypnotised by the values of a hyper-materialistic culture. We are conditioned to seek happiness and fulfilment entirely outside of ourselves, through the acquisition of money, possessions, social status, romantic love and whatever else.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that in and of itself. Certain stages of the human lifetime will naturally be dominated by the pursuit of security and wealth, relationships, career, family and so on. Our fundamental mistake, however, the one at the very root of samsara, is the idea that we can find lasting happiness and fulfilment through objects alone. I came to this realisation relatively early on in my life.
When we seek happiness we expect that happiness to last. If it doesn’t last, it isn’t really happiness at all, because it comes with the bitter sting of subsequent sorrow. The problem with seeking happiness in the objects of the world is that all objects, all forms and experiences are in a state of constant change and flux. A world of duality is a world of contrasting opposites. Try though we might, we cannot experience up without down, pleasure without pain and happiness without sorrow. Sooner or later, the object we’ve invested so much time and energy into acquiring with fail to bring the same rush of joy and pleasure. In time, it may even become a source of displeasure and suffering. There’s simply no getting around this fact. Seeking infinite happiness in a finite world is a recipe for endless frustration and grief.
That led me to one of the most important realisations of my life.
I came to see that the love, joy and wholeness that we seek is never to be found outside of us.
That may be hard for most people to understand. It seems counterintuitive. After all, it certainly seems that when you get or experience something that you like, the good feelings are coming from that particular object or experience. But whether it’s a promotion at work, winning the lottery, meeting the guy or girl of your dreams or whatever else tickles your fancy, these things don’t actually bring happiness in themselves.
What they do is tap you into the joy and wholeness already existent within you. When you get something you want, the mind is temporarily satisfied and this suspends the bitter cravings of lack, want and desire we’re otherwise all too familiar with. In one spacious instant, you are free to enjoy the reflected light of Consciousness shining at the core of your own mind and heart; something you may rarely experience due to the mind’s agitation and the concealing and projective powers of maya.
This shining Consciousness is the very Heart of our being, described in the Vedantic scriptures as Sat-chit-ananda: Existence, Consciousness and the Bliss of Limitlessness. The joy we seem to experience through the fulfilment of our desires and attachments was actually already there, deep within us. The object of our desire was only ever a proxy; enabling us to feel good—which is synonymous with feeling God—by tapping us into the boundless and inexhaustible well of wholeness, peace and freedom at the core of our being.
Life has different purposes depending upon a person’s age, duty and culture. The Vedas outline the first three main life pursuits as security, pleasure and dharma, which means to do the right thing in any situation and to be true to our own nature. Life’s final and ultimate pursuit is liberation, or enlightenment.
Liberation is the full integration of the Knowledge that we are what we seek; and that, contrary to appearance and assumption, what we are is not a limited, lacking little ego-person, but the pristine pure Consciousness or Awareness illumining and enlivening a temporary body and mind. The body and mind are but mirrors reflecting the light of Brahman, God, or the Ultimate Reality. That’s the great secret of life, right there.
Even those who don’t think they believe in God spend their lives pursuing the Infinite in all kinds of ways. The fervent materialist will seek God (wholeness, fulfilment, bliss) through money, ambition, possessions, and perhaps drugs, sex and various other hedonistic pursuits. Each may seem to be a portal to bliss, but the happiness is always temporary. A wise person will eventually concede to this fact. The foolish or indignant, however, will spend an entire lifetime trying, in vain, to somehow extract Infinity from the finite.
A lot of people still harbour an outmoded and misunderstood concept of God as a cantankerous old man sitting in the clouds casting judgement upon His creation. God, however, is something far more immediate and familiar: the very light of our Consciousness itself. That light is always there, no whatever what turbulence happens to be rocking the body/mind/ego with all its attachments, desires and aversions, beliefs, concepts and emotions.
The light of Consciousness forever shines, regardless of whatever is going on at the level of maya. That’s why, at heart, we are always free. Nothing can ever touch the light that we truly are; not any experience, any fear, pain, hurt or even the crippling burden of a distorted egoic self-concept. Like the sun always shining above the clouds, Consciousness is forever free, always available and without limit or boundary.
Very few have the ability to fully grasp this, even among spiritual seekers. Only sincere and committed enquirers have any way of processing this understanding. To the average person, it will seem nonsensical and irrelevant. This Knowledge, however, is the key to alchemising life and turning the lead of worldly sorrow and limitation into the gold of perfect Divinity.
Compared to many, I don’t feel I have achieved a whole lot materially in this lifetime. That really isn’t why I am here, however. My life path has been an opportunity to use limitation and adversity to turn within and realise the light within myself and within all beings.
That’s the key to this game of life.
Integrating this Knowledge into the core of my psyche was far from an overnight job and I stumbled repeatedly along the way. It led, however, to a treasure far beyond compare: the discovery of an unending ocean of inner peace, contentment and joy that none of the vagaries of worldly life can ever rob us of. Even though a thought or emotion might cloud the sky temporarily, this light can never be lost because it is the true essence of what we are: pure Consciousness wearing the temporary sheaths of a body and mind.
While I wasted a few too many years seeking love and validation from others, the ultimate realisation was that I already have and am everything I’d ever sought.
What’s more, the person I thought I was existed as nothing but a concept in my mind; a set of conditioned thoughts, reactions, desires and fears, capped with a name: in this case, “Rory”.
Now, I admit it’s a mighty strange way to end an autobiography, but, in ultimate analysis, there’s no such person. It’s all just story. I don’t see myself as Rory now. My centre of identification is just Awareness functioning through a body and mind. Even when you find yourself having to take action, and pick up your bow and take to the battlefield like Arjuna, life flows quite by itself if you let it. All that needs doing—all the words spoken, actions taken and thoughts thunk—happen automatically by virtue of Consciousness enlivening a body and mind. What a wondrous thing!
It may not happen overnight, but with repeated application to the mind, Self-Knowledge brings with it an unspeakable sense of relief, freedom and joy. There’s still obviously a world of names and forms appearing before these eyes, and certain likes and dislikes and conditioned patterns cycling through the mind, but it’s all fine because I know it is all God. The light just shines as all forms and beings dance to the tune of karma.
Bodies come and go, lifetimes pass by in the blink of an eye, stars are born and die, universes come into creation and dissolution, but the light of Awareness, always present in all beings and universal in nature, shines endlessly. There’s no birth for it and no death, and all limitation is but the product of maya and is, to Awareness, as insubstantial as a dream. Awareness always remains and can never be touched, tainted or harmed in any way.
This Knowledge brings liberation. We pivot our centre of identification from the conceptual ego identity to the Awareness in which it arises. Only then do we taste freedom from seeking, freedom from lack and freedom from having to continually manipulate the outer world in order to satiate our desires and cravings. In spite of whatever might be sprouting in the endlessly fertile field of karma, the reality is that you, the true You, is already and ever free.
Download “There Is A Light That Shines” now in the online shop, or on Amazon, and other stores.
